From negative to positive

Well....where do I begin. I have 2 jobs! After waiting a month and applying at 66 different places I have managed to get a fulltime job at mc donalds as you new and a parttime job at the Cash Store. So im pretty excited. That was the good news for the week. I start at MD on monday, and the CS on tuesday. Lets see how balancing 2 jobs goes.

Other than that Ive been dealing with a lot of rejection lately. You knew about my rejection from my parents last time I blogged and it only goes up as i have friends who have rejected me (no dori im not talking about you dont worry) and 2 people that ment a lot in my life. My kaleo interns. After waiting about 3 weeks to get a responce from a previous email I decided to give up on ever getting it. I went to see if there was anything new with them by looking on twitter and discovered I had been blocked, so I went to facebook and saw that I had been deleated. I dont really know what I did! I messaged them and asked them for an explination as to why they had taken these actions and im praying for a response but am doubtfull of getting one. The part that hurts is that it is just me they have deleated...none of the other K6's. Just me. So im really broken and confused about this and just what to know what I did.

Other than those things nothing is new. As I type this I realize that I only have one more day left of sitting around. Thats good in a way yet also sad. Ive had a lot of time alone and its been good but im ready to be around people other than the ones I live with. Ooh, ive taken on a new hobby...doing puzzles. I decided that I wanted to teach myself patience more than anything and so I decided to take on doing puzzles. Ive spent 9 hours on one so far and its been really relazing and injoyable. I cant wait to be done butthats why I need to do this so I can become more patient and I hope it rubbs off of me towards others as well. (did that make sence?) So we will see how that turns out. As for you guys, I hope you have an amazing week. Lemme know how you are doing. I havent heard from a lot of you for a while (I donno who even reads this hahaha) ok bye for now!

To Be Humbled

Well you are looking at the blog of a new Mc Donalds employee....I did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and applied as a place that I did not want to be seen working at. When I got the call for an interview I was really upset because that was the last place I wanted to work, but I took it wondering why. I new that it was because God was gonna teach me a lesson through giving me the job that I didnt want but I couldnt think of the right word until jenna told me maybe god was teaching me how to be humble! Aaaah thats the word I was trying to place in the puzzle. I new I was gonna get hired even before I had the interview. Thankfully though, I am being trained for the position of might manager for the graveyard shift. Haha im kinda excited in a way. So the job hunt is over and im just glad to stop looking. It was to tiring.

On another note, I really need prayer. I have been fighting with my dad and step mom constantly about neumerous different things all yeah, and Im sick of it. Im sick of them not seeing my point and not willing to agree with my point. Ive tryed everything! Them refusing to agree with me and my points have caused me to be very angry. I have a huge tempor towards them because I cant get my point across. Even when I state a verse in the bible they refuse to accept it. I really need prayer to get rid of my anger and help them understand how I feel about whatever the situation may be. Its been a tough road and its only been getting worse with them. Its at the point when its easier for me to not inform them of my life or phone them because then arguments dont sprout. At this rate by next christmas I probably will have stopped all contact with them, and I dont want it to get to that point. So if I could get some prayer for that that would be great. Thank you! Have a good week.!

PS.....GO CANADA!!!!!!!

And the result is....negative

Well...it was good while it lasted but I did not succeed in getting the cooks assistant position. Whats next? Im kinda torn because I have no where to turn yet no matter what I do I cant succeed at finding work. If I had money saved up then cool ok I can survive a while, but I have nothing therefore every day is a loss. I just dont know what else to do to speed up this process.

On the other hand this opens up the doors to go back to camp for another summer which is something that I really want to do. I have been thinking and prayiong about it sunce the fall and I really feel called back its just a matter of once again having money for that. I know...money for camp? Unfortunately there are some things that I would still have to pay for like a sponsor child, a storage locker, a cell bill, and rent here in edmonton...so there are quite a few things that I will have to keep up finantially. So I would like to ask for prayer on this decision and for the fact that I do need to find work soon in order to survive. I cant rely on my father anymore...its to much of a burdin on him and makes me feel really bad about how unsuccessful I have been all of this year.

Other than that nothing is new...I spend all of my days laying on the couch watching TV and job searching on the internet since I dont have a car to go out on a daily basis. OOh...this week I did see malayne! It was really good to hang out with someone from kaleo again and really miss getting to see everyone and even talking to them. It's very rare that someone has the time to chat for more than 3 to 5 min. And I also went to missions fest and saw Mel and Ken which was really good. Other than that nothing is new. Hope everyone has a good week and I will update again.

A New Beginning....Once Again

Ok...so I decided to restart my blog in a hopes that this will be a way of expressing myself to the right people. I left my blog in the summer time cause i was very bad at updating it and it became more of a chore then fun. But it's time for me to start again. I am not going to recap my fall becaise its done and I dont want to go back to it not even through memory. It was a rough road and I did not come out shining...I came out as a failure and have been working on rebuilding myself again. Thats a lot easier said then done. I am working right now on getting back into the word and praying. Praying is something that I have always struggled with. Praying out loud scares the poo outta me and praying alone has gotten to the point where its awkward. And I dont like feeling weird when I pray so Im working on fighting that.

My move to edmonton was very good. I love St Albert so far and plan on staying here for a few years....then again, God may have other plans. I am still looking for work but have a really good lead on a cooks assistant job for Meals on Wheels. I am very excited to start work again and would like prayer that I will shine in my interview and get this job. I know it will be good and it will really challenge my leadership skills which is something that I really want. I am so excited to see what comes out of this and am ready for the challenge.

Though I am still in a rough place spiritually and with a lot of my friends I want to be sure that I trust God with that. That he knows what im going through and that he will soon show me the light at the end of the tunnel. Thats about all I can say right now.

Here is the most recent pict of me. Bye for now!

Jr Hi #2

What a week...full of fun and smiles and excitement and sickness? Yes it is true, this week consisted of (throughout the whole camp not just my cabin) 2 broken legs, a few sprains, and a million feavers and colds. Though having sick kids is not something that anyone enjoys, its nice to have one person off your hands for a few hours. I only had one girl with a temp, though I had many with scrapes and cuts and such. I also was quite sick for a couple days yet was only able to get a couple hours extra sleep at that time.

Ok so enough with the sucky stuff...this week of girls was a blessing. They had no problems, not many annoying questions, not many complaints, and very good when it came to listening......most of the time. The past weeks before this one were filled with girls who would not listen to a word I said...which was extremely hard. Thankfully God gave me a break from that. These girls were also quite mature and enjoyed doing stuff on their own. though they were flirty and jonas brothers crazy, I was still able to take them away from temptation. And the games.....thy actually liked playing them! I was very excited.

I was filled with exhaustion though as I worked through trying to break the ice and get my words into these girls hearts and get them to respond. They really were not to interested in the learning aspect of camp. It was quite frustrating as I have felt that I have not been able to pour into any of my girls much. I am struggling with the idea that I am not doing a good job as a sr counselor because I do not know how to speak words from God to these girls that I have been given. Its a huge burden and is causing me a lot of pain at the moment. Yet I ask for prayer, I do not feel the support that I am needing to fight this. It sucks. I feel as though its time for me to have someone else with me again in order to fully pour into these campers. I once again am alone. Though I love being alone, I dont feel as though I have much to offer these girls spiritually or physically. I can only keep on praying that God will show me why I am here. It's been hard.

I hope that next week will go even better than this week did, yet I do not know if that will happen. Only God knows. As for me now...I must rest and gain the strength and energy for another week alone.

Jr's #1 and #2

Oh man.....where do I even begin. Well lets begin right now. I am sitting in the staff lounge trying to type with a pulled tendon arm hahahaha. that's only a small struggle of the week.

God has a sense of humor as he not only gave me one hard week alone, but two. Jr's are tough man! And not tough in the sense that they are brave but tough in the sence that they test your ability of EVERYTHING from biblical knowledge to physical strength. The idea of counseling jr's along was scary, actually doing it was even worse. Though I will say, it was a really good experience....that was just the first week.

The second week of jr's I had a co with me named allana. The week was easier in the sence that I had help, yet harder in the sence that I was quite sick and my co and I did not get along. We did not see eye to eye on many things at all, and the prospect of working together and having communication was very limited. Though both weeks the girls would cuddle up to me and to allana the second week, we were both exhausted by the end of it and ready for the jr hi's to come back. 

Though I could go on forever about how the 2 weeks were and what happened, I wont take up the whole blog. My skills as a sr counselor were tested by these jr's and I am sure that I failed emensly. Hahaha. but hey, thhats bound to happen once and a while. I did however get to help a girl on her journey with christ and giude her to recomitting. which for me was a first ad a great experience. I pray for many more experiences like that this summer...but for now, it's time to go wake my campers up.  

Jr Hi 1

Well. I know it has been a while, but I finally have a chance to update this.

This week was the first week of camp. Jr Hi 1. It was pretty sweet to be able to counsel this week alone. I had 9 beautiful girls who were a challenge for me. My week began with them not knowing much and not wanting to do much. They did not seem interested in the activities here but were more interested in spending the whole day in the cabin reading. It was quite frustrating on my part because no matter what I seemed to do, they did not seem happy.

The week continued on like this. Not wanting to anything for activities that was not at the water or was not the screamer in turn I was doing my best to tell them that they had to go to their activity. In q-town they would never stand while singing, never jump, and get distracted while sid was speaking. One of my girls turned to me and said "do we have to hear a lecture every day?" that was kind of harsh i found. My skills with disipline are minimal, but this had gotten to the point where I was struggling to know what to do next.

Other than one girl injuring herself multiple times I was also faced with a meltdown. It was filled with raige from a girl after she got hit in the eye with a branch because a boy called her a weiner and she was chasing him. Meenwhile I had a CIT in my cabin telling her testimony for the first time and I wasnt there to support her. I was unsure of what to do next. I decided to give up and call in Amanda. By the end of the week the girls, though they still would not listen nor were they enjoying the activities, seemed to finally be soaking what sid would say up thanks to a play the drama team did and a movie that sid showed. They saw that there was a point behind everything. That was really good to see.

It was a very long week filled with struggle. but I have come out od it feeling good about how it ended. Though the only games they liked were the night game and big blue, and the only period in the day they looked forward to was open activities, they seemed to have a lot of fun in the end and told me that they all had a great week.As for me, one week alone with jr hi's is tiring.....lets see what 1 week alone with jr's will do.