A New Beginning....Once Again

Ok...so I decided to restart my blog in a hopes that this will be a way of expressing myself to the right people. I left my blog in the summer time cause i was very bad at updating it and it became more of a chore then fun. But it's time for me to start again. I am not going to recap my fall becaise its done and I dont want to go back to it not even through memory. It was a rough road and I did not come out shining...I came out as a failure and have been working on rebuilding myself again. Thats a lot easier said then done. I am working right now on getting back into the word and praying. Praying is something that I have always struggled with. Praying out loud scares the poo outta me and praying alone has gotten to the point where its awkward. And I dont like feeling weird when I pray so Im working on fighting that.

My move to edmonton was very good. I love St Albert so far and plan on staying here for a few years....then again, God may have other plans. I am still looking for work but have a really good lead on a cooks assistant job for Meals on Wheels. I am very excited to start work again and would like prayer that I will shine in my interview and get this job. I know it will be good and it will really challenge my leadership skills which is something that I really want. I am so excited to see what comes out of this and am ready for the challenge.

Though I am still in a rough place spiritually and with a lot of my friends I want to be sure that I trust God with that. That he knows what im going through and that he will soon show me the light at the end of the tunnel. Thats about all I can say right now.

Here is the most recent pict of me. Bye for now!

Jr Hi #2

What a week...full of fun and smiles and excitement and sickness? Yes it is true, this week consisted of (throughout the whole camp not just my cabin) 2 broken legs, a few sprains, and a million feavers and colds. Though having sick kids is not something that anyone enjoys, its nice to have one person off your hands for a few hours. I only had one girl with a temp, though I had many with scrapes and cuts and such. I also was quite sick for a couple days yet was only able to get a couple hours extra sleep at that time.

Ok so enough with the sucky stuff...this week of girls was a blessing. They had no problems, not many annoying questions, not many complaints, and very good when it came to listening......most of the time. The past weeks before this one were filled with girls who would not listen to a word I said...which was extremely hard. Thankfully God gave me a break from that. These girls were also quite mature and enjoyed doing stuff on their own. though they were flirty and jonas brothers crazy, I was still able to take them away from temptation. And the games.....thy actually liked playing them! I was very excited.

I was filled with exhaustion though as I worked through trying to break the ice and get my words into these girls hearts and get them to respond. They really were not to interested in the learning aspect of camp. It was quite frustrating as I have felt that I have not been able to pour into any of my girls much. I am struggling with the idea that I am not doing a good job as a sr counselor because I do not know how to speak words from God to these girls that I have been given. Its a huge burden and is causing me a lot of pain at the moment. Yet I ask for prayer, I do not feel the support that I am needing to fight this. It sucks. I feel as though its time for me to have someone else with me again in order to fully pour into these campers. I once again am alone. Though I love being alone, I dont feel as though I have much to offer these girls spiritually or physically. I can only keep on praying that God will show me why I am here. It's been hard.

I hope that next week will go even better than this week did, yet I do not know if that will happen. Only God knows. As for me now...I must rest and gain the strength and energy for another week alone.

Jr's #1 and #2

Oh man.....where do I even begin. Well lets begin right now. I am sitting in the staff lounge trying to type with a pulled tendon arm hahahaha. that's only a small struggle of the week.

God has a sense of humor as he not only gave me one hard week alone, but two. Jr's are tough man! And not tough in the sense that they are brave but tough in the sence that they test your ability of EVERYTHING from biblical knowledge to physical strength. The idea of counseling jr's along was scary, actually doing it was even worse. Though I will say, it was a really good experience....that was just the first week.

The second week of jr's I had a co with me named allana. The week was easier in the sence that I had help, yet harder in the sence that I was quite sick and my co and I did not get along. We did not see eye to eye on many things at all, and the prospect of working together and having communication was very limited. Though both weeks the girls would cuddle up to me and to allana the second week, we were both exhausted by the end of it and ready for the jr hi's to come back. 

Though I could go on forever about how the 2 weeks were and what happened, I wont take up the whole blog. My skills as a sr counselor were tested by these jr's and I am sure that I failed emensly. Hahaha. but hey, thhats bound to happen once and a while. I did however get to help a girl on her journey with christ and giude her to recomitting. which for me was a first ad a great experience. I pray for many more experiences like that this summer...but for now, it's time to go wake my campers up.  

Jr Hi 1

Well. I know it has been a while, but I finally have a chance to update this.

This week was the first week of camp. Jr Hi 1. It was pretty sweet to be able to counsel this week alone. I had 9 beautiful girls who were a challenge for me. My week began with them not knowing much and not wanting to do much. They did not seem interested in the activities here but were more interested in spending the whole day in the cabin reading. It was quite frustrating on my part because no matter what I seemed to do, they did not seem happy.

The week continued on like this. Not wanting to anything for activities that was not at the water or was not the screamer in turn I was doing my best to tell them that they had to go to their activity. In q-town they would never stand while singing, never jump, and get distracted while sid was speaking. One of my girls turned to me and said "do we have to hear a lecture every day?" that was kind of harsh i found. My skills with disipline are minimal, but this had gotten to the point where I was struggling to know what to do next.

Other than one girl injuring herself multiple times I was also faced with a meltdown. It was filled with raige from a girl after she got hit in the eye with a branch because a boy called her a weiner and she was chasing him. Meenwhile I had a CIT in my cabin telling her testimony for the first time and I wasnt there to support her. I was unsure of what to do next. I decided to give up and call in Amanda. By the end of the week the girls, though they still would not listen nor were they enjoying the activities, seemed to finally be soaking what sid would say up thanks to a play the drama team did and a movie that sid showed. They saw that there was a point behind everything. That was really good to see.

It was a very long week filled with struggle. but I have come out od it feeling good about how it ended. Though the only games they liked were the night game and big blue, and the only period in the day they looked forward to was open activities, they seemed to have a lot of fun in the end and told me that they all had a great week.As for me, one week alone with jr hi's is tiring.....lets see what 1 week alone with jr's will do.

my updates on life will begin in a week once again. srry for the long delay

Not much to say still...sorry

Okok I will write this now, you get no exciting pict's this time. I havent really been taking to many which sucks, but I have not had opportunities or time. Umm..this week was pretty good. I am exhausted from maintenance (cant spell) which I think is a good sign haha. other than having a million guest groups around, the only exciting thing to report is that i managed to get through family retreat. that is one retreat that takes as much energy as possible. It seemed to go REALLY well this year which was sweet. Many families came and seemed to really enjoy the retreat and the food! Good job Laura. I was in the kitchen which kinda sucked for me because I really really wanted to get out there with the people and kids. Having skills in the kitchen has started to give me disadvantages now. Im hoping that through this God will help me grow in maturity. I really want to be with the kids, unfortuantely I have to wait.

We've had many people come in since the last time I poasted, a lot of now faces, but it was really good to see Dave Clark back for another summer. The camp is still lacking on some major people though. Getting prayer for boat drivers, a skate park leader, dishpit crew chiefs, and more male CIT's would be great! Speaking of the skate park...it looks AMAZING! it's kind of weird at camp and looks really different but is well done! When the weather clears up I'll take some pict's and post them.

Another good thing is........I have a house!!! Yes the basement suite that I was looking at I managed to get with the help of God and my parents. I am so excited to move out in sept. It will be a big step in my growth as an adult and in maturity. All I can say about this is...come and visit me in the fall!!!! I have a couple pict's of the place here. The kitchen, living room/front door, and me signing the papers.

Other than that not much is new. If I think of anything I'll post it, but um yeah. Keep camp in your prayers, know that God is doing great things here already, and have a great week. (I sound like scott bayley there haha)

First week of AC

Yes, yes, yes I know I am like overdue for this. But the first week of AC nothing really happened that would take up a whole blog. Anyways...Advanced crew has begun! Though im in for a great 2 months, it is hard being back. The first week was really hard on me emotionally for a number of reasons. Though I am slowly getting through it. Still frustrating, but it is ok. God is good, and the devil is not. (dont ask) Umm this past week I have spent a lot of time in the kitchen as well as on maintenance which has been good. I find that being on maintenance gives me a better chance to connect with people for our hours are all the same and we are able to socialize while cleaning and such.

There are still many people to get to know. But that's ok. Im making the rounds. I managed to have a lot of fun one night with Doug, Phil, and Candice as we went out and did random things on a wed night. Here are a bunch of pict's from that. We had a lot of fun!I am in room 311 AGAIN. Yes this is the 3rd year in a row! (not gonna lie, kinda upset bout that) But it is ok cause I have sweet roomies. Alice, Sheri, Candice, and Alivia is supposed to be in there when she comes. That could change though. It's cool to be with different people that I havent really lived with before, it gives me a chance to get to know all different personalities in a closer way I guess I am trying to say. One night meesh came to visit our room, and she, sheri, and myself had a photoshoot. It was random, yet fun. Here's the one that turned out the best.This week nothing exciting is happening....other than work. I plan on working hard to become closer to the people here for I've kind of been hidden for a number of reasons. Pray that I can put myself out there. Life right now is hard as I try and climb out of a hole I fell into, but it goes on...Im still really deep in the hole, but I am slowly climbing out. Have a good weekend!